Why My Kid is Better Than Yours

7 Aug

In today’s super competitive parenting world – my kid speaks Spanish, Mandarin and Latin, oh and she’s 2; my son was potty-trained at 4 months; my kid jumped a grade and plays semi-professional soccer, sound familiar? No? Oh, I guess I read too much internet crap – I thought it would be nice to make a list of the boasting rights I can lay claim to.

1. My daughter can tell you the same story roughly 13 times in any given hour.

2. My son can walk with one hand in his mouth and the other down his pants. Hold up, he can actually run like this as well.

3. My daughter can out “poop-talk” the best of them. Probably says “poop” or “poopy pants” about 56 times a day. Hard to beat.

4. My daughter can instantly forget where she placed a very important article from Mommy’s purse. Whoooosh – absolutely no memory of said important article.

5. My son can poke you in the eye. Repeatedly.

6. At 3 years old, my daughter can already look at you like you have completely lost your mind and are by far the most idiotic person left on this planet.

The list could go on, but I’ll stop at 6. I don’t want to intimidate you too much. We just met.

 

 

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